Over the hump

Three years ago today, our Charlie was nearing his second month anniversary in foster care.  He had come from another state, a life of poverty and neglect, his family often "living off the land."  In foster care - broken system that it is - he was given safety and security, regular meals, medical and dental care, education opportunities, and more - all in the first two months.

Two years ago today, I didn't even know about Charlie, but God was pulling my heart toward him.  I ignored it, or tried to.  I knew that even the best of circumstances bringing another child into our home would radically change our lives.  Ha - even I didn't know how much.

A year ago today, we had met Charlie and begun regular weekly visitations.  We were in the middle of our foster care training (a year later I can say that we don't use a whole lot of what we were taught, but ours is a different situation I suppose from most) and home study.  My heart had completely changed for him, and we were excited to embark on our Starfish journey.

The process, which we were told would take 6 months, has gone on so much longer than that.  The way should have been paved with the adoption a year ago of Charlie's biological brother by our friends.  There really is no reason it has gone on as long as it has.

If you read my last post, you know that things have come to a head with our negotiations.  In fact, Robert met with the powers-that-be last week (I remained behind to - you know - parent the children) and the meeting ended on a satisfactory note.  Not a fantastic note.  But not an awful note.  And most importantly, all that stuff is finished!

We are meeting with our attorney in a few days to review all the discussion and sign final papers and then she will submit it to the court.  We have a tentative adoption date for mid-November!

Have you ever read China Cry?  If not, you should.  But I've been reminded how God had miraculously extended Nora Lam's pregnancy significantly beyond 9 months so that her child could be born in a safer place.  This has nothing to do with that, of course, but if this adoption process is like a pregnancy, I have definitely passed my due date.

By the time he has been adopted, our Charlie will have been in foster care for 3 years, 2 months, and 6 days.  (The goal of foster care is to have a child in a permanent placement in one year.) 

He will have lived with us for 53 weeks and 6 days as a foster child.

I am excited to give him his new name.  (We do use it most of the time, but anything with legal stuff attached to it, including prescriptions, medical visits, and school data, has to have his legal name.  I sure can't wait for THAT fun to begin - to have everything changed over once we get the adoption papers and new birth certificate!)

I am excited to give him permanence, and security.  I think he's had a sense of that, but with monthly caseworker interviews, constant paperwork, weekly visits by a CASA, court dates, etc. - I'm sure it has felt at least a little bit tenuous at times.

I am excited to get some of my life back - no more monthly visits by two case workers, weekly visits by the CASA, occasional visits by his attorney, quarterly court reviews, etc.  I am excited to normalize somewhat.

All of that said, our finances are going to take a hit when the adoption goes through.  I had to quit my part-time job last year to meet Charlie's needs (mostly appointments to hundreds of places).  It might be a sparser Christmas.  But please pray that the normalization of everything will help me to return to full time tax prep in January or that another full-time job will make itself known to me.  We have a new owner this year so I'm not even sure that full-time is a possibility.

I'm not worried.  Jehovah Jireh - the Lord will provide.  Just throwing it out there for prayer.

Charlie has still been on a good streak behavior-wise.  He is a busy, busy little boy but really is a happy kid.  We love him, and our love for him is deepening.  We are definitely blessed.