Perfectly Logical

For a few weeks now, I would step into the shower in my bathroom, and sometimes find the bottle of liquid hand soap that normally sits on the counter by sink.

The first time I found it I just scratched my head, put it back, and thought no more about it.

The second time I asked Robert if he was bringing it into the shower. Of course not.

Being the amazing sleuth that I am, I concluded it was Christianne. (For some reason the kids like to shower in my bathroom rather than theirs or the basement. I don't really get it, but they only get to do it for a few more weeks before my bathroom becomes Pop's.)

Yesterday I finally asked her about it. Here was her explanation:

Well, I always go potty before I get in the shower, and since I'm getting in the shower it's kind of silly to wash my hands at the sink. So I take the handsoap into the shower and wash them in there!!!

Of course. :)

2 to 1

So I think that every once in awhile a girl likes to feel a little bit... girly. Maybe if you're already a girly-girl, you might like to spruce up a bit, get dolled up (I can't believe I used that phrase). Or if you're just like me who doesn't often put on the high heels or make-up, once in awhile I kind of just want to... you know... girl it up. Shave your legs. Paint your toes. Put on a little make-up. Just a little bit to make you feel more pretty, more girly.

Now I've never actually been one to wear a lot of make-up, but since I got married, I've found that I've become too lazy most days to put it on. Not that it takes a lot of time for me, since I don't wear much, as I said. But maybe once a week I'll put on just a bit - a little foundation or powder, sometimes a bit of mascara.

Well, not long ago I finally took the time to redeem a gift card I got for my birthday nearly a year ago, and I replaced some make-up that I had used just about up and that had actually expired some time ago. I got it in the mail a few days ago and have been using it daily - again, nothing fancy, just some foundation and powder.

And then the other day as I applied my mascara, I looked deep into my own eyes (courtesy a mirror) and was very disappointed in what I saw. I used to think my eyes were my best feature, that it was imperative to have at least mascara on when I left the house. Now, mascara applied, they really didn't look all that impressive anymore.

Do eyelashes thin with age? That's the only thing I can think could be different. Surely the size doesn't change, right?

So anyway I went to Wally World yesterday and bought an eyeliner pencil. I haven't used one, honestly, since my last one ran out or broke or melted probably half a dozen years ago. In fact, Christianne saw it and said, "You wear eyeliner???" like it was so improbable that it in reality couldn't be.

This morning, waiting for a friend, I applied my make-up: foundation, "warmth", powder, mascara, a little eye shadow, and a wee bit of liner underneath my eyes.

I looked in the mirror. Didn't look much different to me.

I called in my teenybopper daughter. You know at 13, make-up is kind of cool, so I thought she'd definitely approve. "What do you think?"

She screwed up her nose and said, "It's way too much."

I guess that's a thumbs-down vote.

I promise you I don't think I've ever been accused of wearing too much make-up. One, I'm lazy. Two, I'm cheap. And three, Robert likes a more natural look.

So Josh came in and I looked at him. "Notice anything different?"

He looked at me and said. "Yeah. Your eyes. Creepy. You look like a vampire."

Visions of Elvira went through my head.

Two thumbs down I guess.

And then Miss Grace came in. "You look like Memaw!!!" she exclaimed before I could even ask her all-important opinion.

Well, my mom, God love her, wears a little bit heavier eye make-up than the look I was going for, so I wasn't sure what to think. "Is that good or bad?" I asked.

"Good!" she assured me. And to be sure I understood, she said again, "You look just like Memaw!"

Question of the Day

Miss Grace just asked me, completely serious:

Mom, does God have a butt?

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round

One day the week before last, I got to transport the younguns to or from Vacation Bible School. I had a car-load - my 3 kids, my friend's 2 kids, and her nephew. Mostly Josh and Big T played in the very back row with their Nintendo DSs or Legos. Chris sat up front when she came because she is, after all, the closest to my age. And in the middle row we had Grace in her car seat, Little A in his car seat, and Little T in between them. Little A is about Grace's age, just a couple of weeks older, and Little T is going into first grade.

So this particular day I was listening to the interaction in the middle seat. Little T is at the perfect age to mother and play teacher to two 3-year-olds. I listened as she taught them songs and went over their ABCs.

As we approached a signal, Little T asked Little A, "What does that red light mean?"

And he said, "Stop!"

When it turned green, she asked Grace, "What does that green light mean?"

And she said, "Go!"

Little T was pleased with their wisdom. Little A's turn again: "What does it mean if it's a yellow light?"

And Little A said very somberly, "Slow down..."

But Miss Grace jumped in, knowing a different answer. "Nuh-uh! A yellow light means SUPERFAST!"

And Little T and Little A looked at her with disbelief.

Who would teach her such a thing? BTW, it was NOT me!