Chapter 21: Winding down

For the past few weeks we have been looking at 4 remaining steps in our process with Charlie:

1. The county has requested birth records from Charlie's state of origin.
2. Once received, the county will redact those records and set up a disclosure meeting with us.
3. Technicalities will be negotiated (we will leave this to our newly retained attorney).
4. Court date set.

Last week marked the 6 month anniversary of Charlie coming to live with us. 

AND last week, we were able to tick Step 1 off the list and we're on Step 2!  We are nearly there, folks.  An administrative review was initiated by the State a couple of weeks ago.  Ro was able to participate by phone.  Everything looks good and the goal date of completion has been set as June 30.  (That is NOT the adoption date, just a goal date, and I'm still hoping it's earlier than that.)

(But not too much earlier, because Josh will be in Peru the first two weeks of June.)

With Charlie's needs, I haven't worked much in the past 8 months.  My once-a-week off-season job at the office had to go away, as conflicts kept arising with foster care training and commitments.  I was hoping to be able to jump in full-force during tax season, but again, it just wasn't feasible.  I worked one day a week January through April and even that was incredibly stressful on my family.

I got a message the other day asking if I could work today - and here I am.  It worked out for my schedule and I am actually delighted to be in this quiet office and have a chance to catch up on some stuff.  (All the while getting paid to babysit the place.)  My 10 o'clock appointment failed to show up, and I haven't even had to answer a phone call (since I only just now remembered to turn off the call forwarding).

So I've been sitting here reflecting on some of the past posts and thought I'd share something else about Charlie that really struck me, especially after rereading the post I'd written about his obsession with Santa Claus.

We had a wonderful Easter.  We do a lot of things differently from the way Charlie's previous foster family did things.  We hide real eggs, the night before, and inside the house.  Apparently Charlie is used to finding plastic eggs with money inside.  That sounds fun, but it's just not our tradition.  We did eggs, dying more than ever with this extra kiddo; we had a beautiful spread for lunch of ham and yums; the kids get Easter baskets; and we went to church.

And we taught him {{ He is risen! He is risen, indeed! }} which he wanted to say 472 times in a row.

That said, Charlie did not seem nearly as focused on the Easter Bunny this year as he was just a few months ago on Santa Claus.  Interesting.  Is he understanding truth?  Is he simply understanding us?  Were his Easter traditions not bunny-focused?  I don't know - I sincerely do not understand much of what goes on in his beautiful but complex little head.  But it was one less battle to fight, and for that I am glad.

For about a week, Charlie included in his prayers thanks to Jesus for dying on the cross. After about the third or fourth time of hearing him say, "I hope You never have to die on the cross again," I did take a moment to correct his understanding:  Jesus died once and for all for all our sins, past, present, and future. THAT is the gospel!

It is also of great encouragement to me, that regardless of where he is at in his true understanding, he is at least thinking about Jesus. 

Pray that we survive - and survive abundantly! - this month.  Birthdays: Mom and Dad and a handful of friends and families, not to mention milestone birthdays for Josh and Christianne.  Final exams and AP tests and end-of-year projects (their stress becomes my stress).  Mother's Day. 5th grade transition and awards.  High school graduation and awards. Family visits. A graduation party?  Adoption stuff.  Josh goes to Peru. All of that on top of the normal day-to-day chaos of scheduling drivers and vehicles (still down a car), figuring out kid pick-ups and sometimes child care, therapy, dentist appointments, church commitments, and work.

Bear with me if I'm not on the ball with communicating.  The 5 people I live with get 95% of what I've got to give right now.  Thanks for understanding.

Much love,
me

Chapter 20: The judicial review

In early February, Colorado got hit by a storm that generated a LOT of ice.

And we had a 9am court appearance.

My morning routine is generally pretty rigid on weekdays.  Charlie, Grace, and I leave for school at 8:10.  I drop Grace off just a couple of minutes later and head south for 6 miles, dropping Charlie off at 8:25 at his school.  (Next year, he will be at our neighborhood school, giving me back 50 minutes every day - 250 minutes each week - OVER 4 HOURS, FOLKS!)

Anyway, we left his school about 8:30 this icy morning and headed to court, northward to Fort Collins, with insane, creepy crawly traffic, passing cars in ditches. Needless to say, we were late to court.  In fact, we arrived and finally found parking and ran in breathlessly at 5 after 9 to notice that the usual security line was not where we remembered it to be.

Because, of course, we were at the wrong court.

Back to the car, back to the icy streets, driving north, correct courthouse, security line - Robert had to donate his thingamajig that didn't pass the X-ray inspection - and once again out of breath, we made it to the family courtroom.

The proceedings had begun.  We slipped quietly into the back of the room.  Charlie's GAL was speaking to the court.  They were nearly finished when she turned around and happened to see us.  "Oh, your honor, the adopting parents are here, if you'd like to speak to them - I didn't know!"

We were both a bit nervous, fearing we might be chewed out for our tardy entrance.  But wow, were we wrong.

The magistrate began by asking us some questions about how we feel about our situation - Robert spoke on our family's behalf.  And then the magistrate spoke - and we were both quite shocked.  He told us how, based on all the reports he had just heard, he was impressed at how well Charlie seems to fit in our home.  He commended us for our efforts, our sacrifices, our commitment... yada yada yada.

Then, some person I'd never seen before, a man I later came to find out is the attorney representing the county, also spoke up, commending us for all our good work.  (It's sort of surreal receiving praise from someone you didn't even know existed.)

I will be honest.  We hear praise from time to time.  Mostly people tell us how great it is that we would take this child out of the goodness of our hearts... you know.  Maybe you have told us that, too.  And when we receive it, a mixed bag of emotions comes to the surface.

I do not feel we should be commended.  We are merely doing what the Lord called us to do - and it took me nearly a year to agree to do that because I did not want to obey!  This is merely an extension of following what He told us to do, no different, in many cases, from what He has called you to do, that you are obeying. What He endured in obedience to the Father on my behalf far outweighs what little I can do in obeying to honor Him.

On the other hand, I will admit that sometimes this "positive feedback" comes at time when we do greatly need encouragement.  Often we get focused on the day-to-day muck that is distracting us from the bigger picture.  And when someone tells us that we are doing a good work, it does in fact motivate us to keep on keeping on.  Sometimes, I feel like God uses people in these situations to encourage our hearts, and it helps.

So, while we are not looking for praise and often feel quite humbled by it, there's a thought of application here - who can *I* encourage today to keep on keeping on?  Who can *you*?

To God be all the glory!

Chapter 19 in pictures

Grace and Charlie at taekwondo.

Chapter 19: I do still have other kids

You know how easy it is to get into a rhythm of life and start taking your most treasured gifts for granted? 

Just before Christmas, I had a full house with Mom and Deb visiting and all four kiddos off school / work at the same time.  My living room seemed extra small with all this energy and excitement of Christmas being right around the corner.  I felt overstimulated and stressed and sent the kids off for some sibling bonding at the local ice rink.

And then I got the call - one of those phone calls that reminds you not to take your blessings for granted, one of those calls that reminds you that life is fragile and not guaranteed and that everything can change radically in an instant.  The kids were in a multi-vehicle accident.  They were all okay, just scared and sore. 

Can you even imagine, losing your entire family, in an instant, two days before Christmas?  It makes my stomach sick to think of it. Thank You, God, for keeping them safe! 

That was our big not-really-related-to-Christmas excitement in our house over the holiday break.  It wasn't long before school began again and life returned to normal.  (And after two months, this was the first look at our "normal" that Charlie was able to see.) 

But while our life has become consumed with social workers and therapy appointments, reading programs and legal responsibilities, our family is not Charlie-centric.  It strikes me how much this really is just like having a newborn - the first few months feel like they revolve around this new human being who it utterly dependent on you.  While Charlie can wipe his own butt and sleep through the night, these first few months have been full of adjusting to his routine, and trying to adjust him to ours.

We have had challenges.  Just like bringing a new babe into the home, the other siblings felt the novelty wear off quickly.  (I was thinking about that this morning in my prayer time and thanked the Lord that some of those jealousies and insecurities have at least lessened.)  But we have also had things to rejoice about with some of our other kiddos' accomplishments as well!

In January, Josh was invited to an Honorable Scholars Banquet at UNC, where he was one of a number of students to be awarded their top scholarship!  We have since toured the campus, talked to a number of people, and he has made a decision to attend UNC in the fall.  Big deal, folks.  The banquet was fancy shmancy and very special.  We are incredibly proud of him.

And the following week, our Grace won the school district spelling bee among all the elementary students in the district!  She got a tall trophy, a new water bottle, and a gift card to Barnes and Noble, along with her picture in the paper and lots of respect.  She (read: we!) worked really hard to prepare.  Unfortunately, in 5th grade, this is as high as you can go, but maybe in middle school next year she will be able to advance to the State competition.

And Christianne got back in her academic groove.  She returned to school last August and made the Vice President's List for the fall semester.  The best part of it all was how much she loved school.  I haven't seen her that excited about it in a long time. 

A family of six.  Who woulda thunk it?