Chapter 2: Dinner with the Weasleys

They aren't really the Weasleys, of course, but one thing I'm learning about in this process is how sensitive some information is, so I've changed their names (and most others) for their protection.  Look how responsible I've become.

Grace, Mom, Wookiee, and I arrived back home to Colorado on August 6th.  It's hard for me to believe that all this was two months ago already.  The first six weeks of that seemed to move so slowly - but the last couple of weeks have been packed with trainings, evaluations, studies, and more, quickly moving us toward certification.  But I'll get to that in time.

Robert and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary on the 8th of August, in our usual, muchly anticipated tradition of dinner at The Melting Pot.  It was awesome on the anniversary level alone, but we had also been apart for 4 weeks!  It was an important time for us to reconnect and talk face-to-face and begin to process this new adventure.

Dinner there was amazing as always, but this trip was a little different in that they seated us in this little, private, closet-like room, complete with a curtain door.  It was kind of funky; much of the seating there is already private, but we definitely had our own room.  And at various intervals, different people would hop in and out through the curtain to take our orders, refresh our drinks, etc.  I still loved it - don't get me wrong - but it was kind of weird.

We were talking a lot about what adoption would look like, and how crazy and scared and excited we were.  At one point, our waitress popped in and made small talk.  "How many kids do you have?" she asked after asking about our anniversary.

We looked at each other first.  "Three," Robert answered, "but we are considering adoption."

"Wow! That's so cool!" she said.  "I'm adopted!"  By this point, I had felt the Lord's confirmation so many times that my response was simply, "Of course you are."  It's becoming almost a mantra.  I'm no longer surprised at all the times He reassures me we are on the right path.  I'm delighted every time, for sure, but not surprised.

Two nights later, Robert and I had dinner at the Weasley house.  Mrs. Weasley would be the woman I mentioned in my previous post who "advertised" on Facebook the week before for an adoptive home for a little boy.  We were so nervous as we drove up to their house, honestly.  We had met the Weasleys before as they are part of our church body, but we don't know them particularly well.  We also talked about adoption itself, and I recall telling Robert that there was no way I wanted to go thousands of dollars into debt through private adoption, so if that's where God was directing, He'd have to provide the funds.

Over the course of dinner, they laid it out.  They were caring for a young boy who recently came into their home.  This young boy - let's call him George - had been living with them for about six months, and he has an older brother - we'll call him Charlie - who needs a home.

The Weasleys have 3 grown and mostly-grown daughters.  A few years back a need arose in their church family and they found out about a toddler who needed a home.  Their journey with that little one - we can call her Ginny - has been long and at times difficult, but they have adopted her into their family and love her with everything they have.  She is around 5 now.

A number of months ago the Weasleys were approached by another family in our church who was caring for George.  They felt that they no longer could care for him, and asked the Weasleys if they would do it.  It wasn't an immediate decision, but after some time the Lord grabbed their hearts and they decided to do what they could for George.  He has been with them for - I'm guessing - about 7 months or so, and they are pursuing his adoption.  George recently turned 4.

The Weasleys told us of some of the history of these boys.  They are part of a sibling group of four, the other two children in another state.  They have been traumatized - abused sexually and severely neglected, among other things.  There are lingering issues stemming from those traumas.  And because the boys were abused together, the powers-that-be recommend that they not be homed together.

(Also, though this is a minor point but a pro tip should you ever consider such a journey - it is apparently recommended to maintain the birth order when adding other kids into your home.  Charlie is nearly 8.)

A few things also stood out to us, apart from the way our hearts broke hearing about these boys' stories.  One was that Mr. Weasley mentioned that passage in James that God had recently laid on my heart.  Another was the story of the starfish, which I had known and also recently thought about.  We can't fix or even make a difference for the thousands of kids out there who have been hurt, but we can make a difference for one.  One of the most profound things that both Mr. and Mrs. shared was how great the theme of adoption is throughout the Bible in terms of salvation.  Really, adoption IS the gospel.  Consider:

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear,

but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons,

by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

Romans 8:15 ESV

Think about it.  We are not naturally God's children.  As Gentiles, we are perhaps more especially not part of His family.  But God sent His Son so that *all* who believe, Jew or Gentile, would become children of God (John 1:12).  We are adopted into His family, with all the legal rights as full blood-borne children.  This *is* the gospel!  Isn't it amazing?  This honestly is so profound and so full of application, both with our relationships with our heavenly Father, as well as our coming relationship with Charlie!

This dinner, remember, was just to get information.  Eventually I raised my most important objection:  We can't afford private adoption.  Both the Weasleys looked a little surprised, and proceeded to inform us that this would be through the foster care system - so the cost to us would be under $100.

Of course it would.

Ro and I left, a little overwhelmed and needing to chew on all that we had heard, but I think we both knew in our hearts, even as we drove home, that yes, we would pursue this adoption.  We told the Weasleys we would think about and pray about it, but we *knew* that night.  That Thursday night.  By Saturday I had begun to do some research on the internet and had signed us up for the next available foster care orientation through the county, nearly 2 weeks away.  And on Sunday, August 14, 2016, we formalized our decision by declaring it Starfish Day and letting the Weasleys know.

We were about to begin our starfish journey.