Chapter 3: August

I will be honest. 

I am overwhelmed by this process.

There is so much to do, so much to learn.

There is no wonder that this is normally a 4 to 6 month process.  But since we are on the "fast track" to give this little guy a home, we are doing much of the certification process concurrently.

I am overwhelmed by the certification process itself, although I think we are on the downhill slide with that.  We have finished classroom training on trauma-informed care.  We have taken our first aid and CPR class.  We have been fingerprinted and are ready to submit our cards (with payment, of course) to the CBI this week.  We have begun our home study with about 4 hours (so far) of interviews and discussions with our caseworker.  (I'm guessing we have at least 6 more hours of that to go.)  We have completed pages and pages of paperwork, much of it redundant.  We have all been checked out by our physicians for our medical waivers.  It seems to me that what remains - at least to be certified foster care providers in our county - is to complete the home study and some online training.  (One could argue that I could be doing that right now, instead of blogging...)

I am overwhelmed by the people involved in this process - only a handful of whom I've met:  our caseworker, Charlie's caseworker, Charlie's guardian ad litem; Charlie's SAFY; Charlie's physician and therapists; Charlie's teachers / school personnel who are working on a plan for his success; people who can help us facilitate medical needs; people who can help us give him some special times and support; people who can give us support and respite; his current foster family... the list goes on.

I am overwhelmed by all the acronyms:  DHS and CSS and foster CW and kinship CW and GAL and SAFY and IEP and FUM and I promise you I have not even touched the surface.  It's all my brain will allow at this moment.

I am overwhelmed by what still needs to be done in our home.  We are in the process of decluttering and downsizing in an effort to move our only begotten son to the spare bedroom in the basement and prepare his bedroom for Charlie upstairs.  (I thought it would be rude to say, "Yes, Charlie, come live with us, two floors down in the basement."  It seems very under-the-stairs to me, like The Boy Who Lived.)

I am overwhelmed by the training we received and yet I still fill ill-equipped to take this on.  I am trusting God on that, since He's the One Who brought us here, while compiling a reading list and resource list to follow-up on when I can breathe again.

On a beautiful note, I am overwhelmed with all the affirmation, confirmation, and encouragement we have received.  I don't believe we have had a single critical comment.  Some puzzled and surprised reactions, sure, but it's all good and has been generally very positive.

Thank you for allowing me to get all of this out of my brain so that I could move on.

I actually started to tell you about Charlie's caseworker, who called us about 10 days after Starfish Day.  We spoke briefly on the phone, and were able to meet with her and her supervisor the following week to give us an overview of Charlie's history, including his strengths and his challenges.  I mention it for three reasons. 

First, remember how we came to know about Charlie?  One of the things that his profile said was that it was important that he maintain ties with his biological family.  We were encouraged by that, knowing that we attend the same church as the Weasleys... and were excited that Charlie and his brother would be able to - at some point - see each other regularly.  That said, when we mentioned that in the initial meeting, the supervisor interjected, "That can't happen!"  Whoa.  Well, apparently the last time the boys had a visit (over 7 months ago), they both had some inappropriate behaviors following the meeting, and from what I understand, neither foster family wanted to go down that road again, and therefore cut off their visits.

This is an area you could pray for specifically, as it brings up a lot of questions:  Is it okay to do some hard things initially to have long-term benefits?  (Mrs. Weasley and I are hopeful that this will be allowed... we aren't excited about it but are willing to deal with some ugly stuff in order for them to heal, rather than to ignore it all.  Does that make sense?  And of course we will work carefully with all the people involved, especially therapists.)  On a practical note, how will we do church, especially in the beginning?  We love our church and certainly don't want to leave.

Second, this was the first time we got to hear much of Charlie's history.  It was shocking, to be honest, seeing right there in black and white what kind of abuse this little guy has suffered.  It gnawed at me for days.  I would soon find out that there was even more to come.  But it was tough to see and hear.  I think it's important not to share those details here.  I pray that you just knowing that this young boy has known greater trauma in his first 5 years than most of us will ever experience in our lives will give you a compassion for him that the knowledge has given us.  He didn't ask for any of this.  He is an innocent child who bad things have happened to, much as Sirius Black once said to Harry Potter.

Finally, Charlie's (and, by the way, George's; one caseworker is assigned to the family) caseworker was new at that meeting, which is why her supervisor attended.  And last week, we found out that she is being reassigned and we will get a new caseworker for him soon.  The Weasleys said that this is the fifth caseworker in the last six months.  I find that a bit disheartening, but just learning what I've learned in the last couple of months, I think being a caseworker in this very flawed system has to take a lot out of you.  I think it takes a special person to do it, particularly for any length of time, and not become a robot who stops feeling.  Anyway, we haven't met the new one yet.

Also in August we attended our Foster Care Orientation and got the ball rolling on our training, although that wouldn't start for a month still! 

Isn't it funny, sometimes, how radically life can change in a mere month?