Humbled, buoyed, and blessed

It is crazy to think that it has been nearly two weeks since we've heard that Chris is being sent home, and nearly four weeks since she's been gone in all.  This military machine is bigger than I can understand, composed of millions of parts, and movement, therefore, is small and slow.  Did that make sense to you?  It did to me.  It means we are still waiting, still trying to be patient.

I have been ~ nay, WE have been ~ comforted in many ways in the past two weeks.  We still have our moments of full-on emotional brokenness, much of which I think will be healed when we can finally wrap our arms around our daughter and remind her face to face (perhaps reminding ourselves, too) that it really is going to be okay.

Two different friends recently reminded me that

... the God of all comfort,

Who comforts us in all our affliction,

so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,

with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God...

2 Corinthians 1:3b-4 esv

... that God comforts us.  We have found comfort in a myriad of Scripture verses shared with us; we have been comforted by so many friends who have reached out to us; we find comfort in knowing that many more people across several states have lifted our family up in prayer.  I have been ministered to by music (most recently Mandisa's "Stronger" and Steven Curtis Chapman's "Glorious Unfolding" ~ you should definitely check them out if unfamiliar, especially if you are in a time of difficulty) on the radio and music that lifted my heart in worship.  I have been encouraged by messages both preached from the pulpit and taught among a few hundred other people.

When you stop to think about it, it's actually quite amazing, really.

I will share that, based on the few letters we have received, I am not sure that Chris is feeling the same level of comfort.  I will humbly ask that you will "turn up" your prayers for her especially.  She is very alone, despite being in a barracks with over 100 other girls.  She has been attending chapel and praying... but I am praying that God will send a supernatural peace to envelop her so that she can not doubt His presence with her.

Recently I shared how worshiping God in a time of broken heartedness really drew me close to Him.  I was reminded that this week when I read some thoughts of Charles Spurgeon.  He calls it contemplation of the Godhead; I call it worship.  Regardless, check it out:

No subject of contemplation will tend

to more humble the mind, than thoughts of God...

But while the subject humbles the mind, it also expands it...

Oh, there is, in contemplating Christ, a balm for every wound;

in musing on the Father, there is a quietus for every grief;

and in the influence of the Holy Ghost, there is a balsam for every sore.

Would you lose your sorrow?  Would you drown your cares?

Then go, plunge yourself in the Godhead's deepest sea;

be lost in His immensity;

and you shall come forth as from a couch of rest,

refreshed and invigorated.

I know nothing which can so comfort the soul;

so calm the swelling billows of sorrow and grief;

so speak peace to the winds of trial,

as a devout musing upon the subject of the Godhead.

(Charles Spurgeon via Knowing God/JI Packer, p.18)

 

My friend lost a child once, a few years ago.  I didn't know her then; in fact, it happened almost a year to the day before I met her.  She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, who then went home to Jesus just days after her birth due to a heart condition.  She came through that heartbreaking event feeling, as she puts it often, "humbled, buoyed, and blessed."

 

That phrase has stuck with me over the years that I've known her.  And certainly, separation from the Navy is nothing compared to the death of a child.  But that feeling, I can recognize it now.  It's a feeling of knowing that you're being carried in the arms of Jesus, supported by other believers who, flawed though they may be, hold you up in love and comfort.  What an amazing blessing that is, and people who don't know the Lord don't have it nor will they understand it.  I'm praying that Chris will feel it, too.

 

This friend ... I should tell you more about her some day because she made an amazing impact on my life in such a short time.  But today I'm just going to embrace that phrase of hers, because it's exactly how I am feeling right now as well:

 

Humbled.  Buoyed.  And blessed.