Mom didn't get the joke

Over the summer a family joke was begun by Joshua and is heard at our house just about every day.  "Good news, everyone.  Grace got the joke!" or, "Bad news, everyone. Mom didn't get the joke."

Unfortunately, this week we had some bad news, and even more unfortunate than that, there was no joke to get.

Christianne is being processed out of the Navy due to medical issues. 

It has been a heartbreaking few days since we got the news on Wednesday afternoon.  There is a lot of pain, disappointment, discouragement, and confusion ~ even some anger.  I am mostly confused because I just really believed God was in this plan for her.  Why take her so far to send her home now?

Funny enough, Robert sent me a devotional on Tuesday based on this verse.

He is not afraid of bad news.

Psalm 112:7 esv

And when I woke up on Wednesday, I had a knot in my belly all day that felt like anxiousness, even though I didn't think I felt particularly anxious.  Bad news, everyone.  Mom didn't get the joke. 

It was Christianne who called that afternoon. Imagine it.  Such excitement to see a Chicago number show up on my caller ID...  such excitement to hear her sweet voice say, "Hi, Mom."  And then a feeling like being punched in the gut as she told us the news.

It was a crazy 24 hours.  We have been trying to process all of it, as I am sure she is.  Many tears were shed ~ are still being shed.

On Thursday, I headed to Bible study.  A familiar song came on the radio ~ "After All" ~ and I felt compelled to just turn the volume all the way up (I'm an old fogey and I rarely like my music loud) and worship Him.  A second song came on and I did the same.  By the time I got there, although I was still very emotional, I felt a peace come over me.

Someone (it might have been Angie Smith) once said (after hearing news that her child wasn't going to live) something to the effect of, "The God I worshipped before I heard this news is the same God right now after knowing this."

God is still God.

On Thursday, she called again while I was at Bible study.  Ro spoke to her this time, and said she sounded better.  That said, she might remain in Great Lakes up to 20 business days!  Wow.  Hoo-stinking-yah.

But during the study, God brought another verse to my mind.

Though He slay me, I will hope in Him.

Job 13:15a esv

This morning, as I thought about that initial devotional Robert sent me, I looked up the actual verse.  In its entirety, it says:

He is not afraid of bad news;

His heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

Psalm 112:7 esv

So there you have it.  I am confused and hurt and about a hundred other emotions, but... BUT... God is still God, and I will still hope in Him.  I will still trust in Him with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding.

God is still God.  He is still the same God.